Unexpressed feelings are unknown

Pain :|

2010-04-19T03:07:00.001-07:00

Whatever you said over the phone is gonna scar a lifetime .
`This isn't a love song ,this is goodbye .
& i thought you were different ,i told everybody you were different .

Hi ?

2010-01-09T22:19:00.000-08:00

Hie ,it's been long since i had my last post .
Well ,school has begun .
It's already a week in .
Thank god i found my tuition,5subs .Life is so so hard right now .
I'm struggling FYI .Sunday school has already begun today .
Having that thought again .
But i had a happy dream not long ago instead of those nightmares that really worries me to death. I get up so tired like as if i ran a marathon .

School's okay atm .
I'm dropping accounts .So good ,i have free periods now .
To either do work or SLEEP .

And you told me you don't hold grudges.
It feels like there's another guy now ,that's why you're avoiding me .
Like in those dreams .
that's what i think but my heart says don't be ridiculous .

<3

2009-12-24T00:55:00.000-08:00

Enjoy Singapore (:
Jagaaa .
See you after Christmas

Temporary words

2009-12-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

With temporary meaning.

Decent conversation is key.

2009-12-19T08:32:00.000-08:00

It was a good day i would say ,well better than previously .

Recently we did our Christmas tree .

Today the tiles were done ,house was cleaned .
Now left the painting. Ate fast food for lunch and dinner ,so satisfying ..I would stuff my face
everytime when fast food is served. WAHAHA
Anyways,The house would be awesomely clean just before Christmas .
Back in my old place We would flood the house and scrub .Well that was the fun part .
Now up in here we do decent cleaning .lol i know.So yeaaaa Christmas is coming ,i can't believe it .Mama is still not recovering ,haih .What to want for Christmas ,Hmmm.
I was feeling the very same about last year's Christmas and hey look what came in next morning
Christmas 09 woah ,friggin fast .Well yeaa ,the time is ending so what now ? Do i break it and continue the Amazing Race ?
Or just ..

:\
`Get well soon Uncle Caleb.

What was happy then, isn't now .

2009-12-18T09:42:00.001-08:00

I watch time fly by ,
as i wonder what was wrong with me ,
I only managed to solve my language problem .

That isn't going to fixed if you keep pissin me off .

Convos don't feel the same no more ,you show attitude ,i show attitude &
you spam your byes .Pretty useless ,bye so you can avoid a fight ?
I prefere to fight it all out and get it over with or at least talk it out .

I can't believe the year is ending ,as SPM is next year.
Christmas is coming soon & it doesn't even feel like it .
I use to count the days to Christmas anxiously .
I use to be all hype up .
Now i'm all down and out ,not even ready for Christmas .
I feel retarded ,it's the day Jesus was born and this is how i repay him .
I think i'm going to Hell and yea i don't blame noone .
Christmas use to be an awesome family together .We would go to church on the eve and
come home at 12 + and stay up till 4am .The hse would be quite noisyy and yea,we were all
so hyped.Now it feels like ..nothing ?God ,i'm sorry.

Screwed up .
Scars to prove the past is real.

If it's goodbye, i will never believe in love again.

2009-11-18T02:45:00.000-08:00

`Points blank right through the heart.

I've lost it , lost you & lost myself .
Losing everything you might live for .

My as well just pull the trigger ,too late to see the value of my life .

Differ if you want

2009-11-13T07:52:00.000-08:00

Tell me i'm not awesome

Awesome date FULLSTOP

2009-11-04T17:53:00.000-08:00

I would scream my lungs out if you came home <3

I GOTTA HAVE THIS ;\

2009-11-03T18:38:00.000-08:00

It's a Canon EOS 450d .A camera Uncle albert reckoned .HE HAS GOOD TASTE! This beauty can do wonders & i would say the price is reasonable ;\i think.HAIH.
It's a DSLR .Noww i just gotta save up.Which will take years and by then i might
be in my grave.I WANT THIS SHIT SO BADLY.

I did some surveys and yesh this camera's the one i'm looking for .NOT the new DSLR which
every dick, tom and harry has going around using em & some not even capable on using em.
Which is very pissing off.RICH PEOPLE.

Upcoming post .

2009-10-20T02:53:00.000-07:00

Emma's birthday@KL bird park will be with you shortly.

If i wrote you a song .

2009-10-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

It wouldn't make a difference even if i brought you the world.

Anger .

2009-10-15T08:16:00.000-07:00

Biar jahat asal selamat .

I should live by this code.

Thank you .

2009-10-13T23:58:00.001-07:00

Ah yesh i need a break and thank god for Indians Day ,i mean DEEPAVALI .
Pheww .

2009-10-12T03:00:00.000-07:00

OH It happened but at the same time it didn't.

Exams are here .

2009-10-11T19:12:00.000-07:00

SO ! I guess exams are like tomorrow .Damn ,i just hope it would be all over in a jiffy .
I'm sure it will be .Exams might suck for everyone knowing we're gonna fail for a certain sub .
But in my school where i think in my case ,my sister would make it off as a better teacher.
We're ACTUALLY about to do something in school even if we fail our asses but at least
WE DID SOMETHING rather then going to school and socializing .At least during exam there would be
PEACE ! Since we're gonna have to shut our gaps and not speak .It wouldn't be like any ordinary
day where the students raise the volume to max .It could be so annoying especially when you're
trying to understand on wtf she's saying and the rest just keep making noise.Teachers are so
GEEKS that they can't even control the class . I fancy any Dick ,Tom and Standley can make it
as a teacher . I recon the government or whichever is in charge DOES SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
God ,now you can see how our country is growing,most msians can't even speak proper english .

Remarkable i tell you ,number one .

LOA's@Cbox.

2009-10-10T07:05:00.000-07:00

I actually enjoy coming to my blog NOW !I THOUGHT NOONE READS BUT I FOUND PPL WHO DID>>
I get to meet idiots who visits a GUYS BLOG .Man i find em gay ,haih their nature.
I never knew talking to a gay could be so much fun .
I never knew how a gay talked till they spoke ..
Man i learn that most gays would stalk a GUY so badly and come visit here so often ;
leaving their homo comments and reading my posts . I never knew talking to faggots can
actually entertain me .Especially when ppl fake a name or writes YANKEE OR JIG SAW PUSS.
Man those are hilarious plus they talk like lil kids .
I have my fans as you can see ! in the cbox .
Give a round of applause to em for making this blog come alive .

MAN I THANK YOU GUYS ;you actually can make my day ! LOL .
ps; losers.

Once more.

2009-10-08T22:06:00.001-07:00

Quote of the year .

2009-10-07T20:17:00.001-07:00

But noone said they wouldn't come back.

She likes ..

2009-10-06T03:55:00.000-07:00

Fishball swim swim :D
You must be happy happy ,i was happy happy :D as usual ;s
All the best in exams fatty <3

erm

2009-10-05T00:33:00.000-07:00

i think imma menopause this stupid blog again .

Fatty loves.

2009-10-04T18:54:00.000-07:00

Rejection pulls all of mankind down .
It tend to make humans procrastinate.
But god gave us 'choice' ; Whether you wanna procrastinate or perservere.
Noone's saying rejection is easy to turn away from what has been written.
But you gotta have a positive mind and always have faith.

And one day it will sure pay off ; one way or another.

<3

2009-10-03T06:52:00.000-07:00

I saw a really really really pretty girl today ((:
Heee baby baby baby :D

;(

2009-10-02T03:29:00.000-07:00

Later never came .
:\

'Awesome'

2009-10-01T22:25:00.001-07:00

Sad to say life's currently a pile of shit . I used to have that someone who would be the first to know my problems; You know there's barely anyone i tell my problems to .But that someone doesn't really exist anymore .Now i struggle on my own and try not to be so 'clingy' . A really friggin stupid word .Clingy my dog !God ,so much of difference.Anyways wtv.. Exams are coming ,mama's in hospital,I still feel like shit(like you cared) . And U.Dennis memory is gone ?Wtf man ..Damn kesian .Haih .He was a good man .School is as shitty as ever The lesson of the day in everyday school life is practically nothing relating to life.It's good to see you
happy but then again it hurts more.Still wondering why you bother goin around wishin guys
happy birthday, especially ppl you have a problem with me hangin out with.Damn nonsense.
Yesterday's convo was damn .. Ah wtv la .Get over it .

I needa take a holiday far far awa...y .I gotta find a new place.
`My inside hurts but what does my outside feel ?

And to that YANKEE ,the guy in my cbox the balless PUNK .I swear to god if i find you ,imma chop you .I don't mind murdering you and entering prison .Seriously .I don't give shits if i do.

TO YANKEE (the fella in ma cbox)

2009-10-01T01:59:00.000-07:00

Dudee !
To yankee doodlee went to rafael adrian emuang's blog and got jealous because he aint all that.

Dude i suggest you get a life .And quit entering my blog cause seriously you're a dope .So stop stalking and talking without balls hanging from your tiny
dick of yours .Dude you got problem my posts on my blog ?Come meet up .
OR you can just hopelessly try to get a friggin life for god sake and do something useful with
the internet .Don't go around ppl's blog leaving useless comments .If you had a lil comment you
wanna say ,say it nicely you dumb dog .I pray that you do get a life and stop stalking.

And quit being envious
You jealous inkkie and i got something ?
Faggot .

AND IF YOU WANNA SAY I HAVE NO BALLS ; LOOK WHOSE THE IDIOT WHO DOESN'T EVEN DARE TO WRITE HIS NAME .Slapshead *

2009-09-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

Should've kissed you there
I should've held your face
I should've watched those eyes
Instead of run in place

I should've called you out
I should've said your name
I should've turned around
I should've looked again

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away.

<3

2009-09-29T01:34:00.000-07:00

my baby baby baby ! :D
Was actually embraced by it .

I really miss the way you use to say it .

Deep sigh .

2009-09-28T03:24:00.000-07:00

Man ,life feels so dead right now ..
In additional to that, exams are at sight .Which really sucks .

God ,if i miss school it's exactly the same as missing nothing .
Except the days with ekonomi .

Impossible

2009-09-27T06:35:00.000-07:00

With you this anger of mind will always be ready to pounce .

My lovely red phone .W910i

2009-09-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

Is now rosak-ed and unable to run .
I seriously loved that phone and now it's gone ?
Blady dog .Now i got no phone .Wtf man .
I hate you seriously .
Ppl like you ,should nvr see guys like me .

Go date ppl in your league .LIKE CHAN CHAN YEE .Wow his an amazing playa .YOU TWO LOOK
GREAT TOGETHER. You two can play each other .Thats your kind .
PLAYA .What was i even thinking .
I can understand why guys play ,but girls ?
You're the sex which has value .What a stupid thing to do .

OUT ;GOING ;GONE

2009-09-25T08:27:00.000-07:00

You should get lost .You're not welcomed here anymore .
Not welcome to even look at me or speak to me .
Get lost ,the way you wanted it .
Now bye .

Tears

2009-09-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

My poor ring .
If you knew how much it means to me ;

All it's left is a scar from the wall and nothing to take else eye away from it .

Bull .

ALAMAK !

2009-09-24T06:41:00.000-07:00

School's reopening ,ain't that awesome ?
MY ASS .Haih that means sucky teachers and i mean SUCKY !
They suck at teaching and i should not extend the insult .
Just believe me when i say sucky ,think in every possible way :D
Arghh great .Holidays just had to be on its way .

Good girl .

2009-09-23T20:58:00.001-07:00

No interest in girls who drink
No interest in girls who club
No interest in girls who smoke
No interest in girls who dresses indecently.

`You'd just be another one night stand .
A personality that will turn me off.
I don't mind being a friend to you ,just not anything more.

Breath taking .

2009-09-23T19:45:00.000-07:00

I think if i have no pictures i won't update ,i think that should be rule nr1 .
Finally wondered Kota Kemuning .*Not a very safe place
2dreams ,today's one was breath taking .
Something i would not want to get up knowing .

Sorry.

2009-09-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

Screw the word love . The next girl that uses this word on me i'll think of you
and how it was abused .
And end up never beleving in love again.I once never believed in love till you showed.
I DARED TO BE DIFFERENT .I actually opened up to you.You didn't see ,did you ? I always had the thought of growing up single and dying single. Everytime a relative ask .''Rafael do you wana get married?'' And my answer will always be ''no'' . My reason: I would like to live by myself ,worry for myself and not anyone else. And of course there's the financial part of live.Where if i end up not receiving a healthy pay i would have only myself to think of and noone to worry about .I won't die living under poverty.And if i do receive a healthy pay there would always be donations & charity.Struggle on my own is how i live . Till now i'm still doing that.

Human's might abuse the word love for some time .But noot for a long period of time. If you still do .You're a dog . And your first love is put to an example . That was the time we ALL thought we were in love But it was just another puppy love crap .

God's love is really the best .And the second would go to family.
God's love is unconditional unlike humans i think we all have our conditions.
Nonone says i love you forever and next year he/she over you . Noone says i love you and the next day says you don't have a heart. It does not take a day to fall in love nor get out . Unless your love is that cheap then maybe so . There's a different between like and love. It can take a day to like someone or get out but NEVER love .

Together forever ?Just another saying us humans abused.

My SATURDAY day out .

2009-09-20T08:21:00.000-07:00

As the early sun rise ,we all got up and got ready to head to the cemetery .
Some bathed and as usual some DIDN'T .LOL.
Visited papa and a few other ppl .
Not long ago ,it was my papa's birthday .
So thats why we're heading there .
Located in Cheras .I think i'm gonna be burried there too .

Papa's grave?

And this is what happens to the poor old grave yard next to papa's .
Terrible .

Thiss picture caught my eye !

Damn unique lol !

Ganas -nyaa ?!

You we're suppose to be visiting the grave next to it !
Complete strangers.ARGH

After cemetery ,we grabbed lunch at food planet .

Then later on jalan jalan. to Sentul ?just for a mosquito netting ?lolol.Then headed
to sunway to get Cousins present.

So true (:

BREAK.

2009-09-17T02:41:00.000-07:00

Ah yesh the holidays are here :D
Selamat Hari Raya niggass !

I fancy there are more holidays this year than previously.
is it true D: ?

The very next day of camp.

2009-09-15T04:38:00.000-07:00

Which was monday !i skipped school happily :D
Ahh i needed a break and so i slept at 9.30pm and got up at 2pm .Crazy skeelz i have.
Damn blady long !i woke up feeling shitty and now still with that feeling .
I kinda feel sick but maybe it's just all in my head.
My throat kinda hurts .Can't drink water properly..
And MY NOSE !
A BLOCK nose .I'm suppose to be healthy.argh.

And for me this friday won't have school !
AH YESH .ILIKEIT*

The newspaper mentioned about those school who wants to have an early holiday may apply
or some crap to the ministry of pendidikan or some shit like that.
THANK GOD MY SCHOOL DID.
Laughs@ppl who has school on friday!

Mmm, it's been a very long time since i've used the words iloveyou to mom or dad.
That day on sunday was the first to my mom since god knows when .
And literally ''god knows when'' min of at least 4-5years ago ?
And sadly i only said it because it was a responds to my mom's iloveyou, cause seriously i'm not used to saying iloveyou to my parents.Yesh very sad indeed.
Thank god i didn't bring down on that day .I CONTROLLED IT!

And it felt damn good saying it .

Camp footages.

2009-09-14T04:47:00.000-07:00

Ben loses to martin jalleh !LAWAK.

Chinese VS Indians !

Chinese VS Indians (After peace making)

Sakit JIWA.

Teacher Aaron West SINGS!

Elizabeth SINGS!

Sorry unable to catch every activity due to me lmao .

Camp .

2009-09-13T04:44:00.000-07:00

Confirmation camp 09.
first ever camp.11,12&13 Sept.
Theme ;Making a difference.

Tears were shed ,lessons were learnt.

Camp was speechless !Terlalu awesome :D It was located at The Farm ,Negeri Sembilan.A famous location foc SIC to carry out camps .Martin jalleh was our spokesman.Our ClassTeachers; Philo ,Millian ,Aaron ,Michael,Edward and Alphonso attended too.
He gave talks about life and so ..BGR sadly was postponed to another date due to lack of time.
But he promised to come down and find the time to give us that talk during class.
He stays in penang if i'm not mistaken.All lessons were meaningful.Every small activity had something to do with his
lesson ,which does summarize and keeps the teens alive .Sitting down too long can cause PROBLEMS!Sleepless nights it was .AHAH what to do .Got mates, confirm la noisy skit !
SO YESH .Suprisingly i took cold bath at 7am when i only manage to do that at 8 plus !
AH IMPROVEMENT.LMAO.And early mornings we gays have to fight for the toiletss .I think
there was only 2 bathroom with heaters in it .Didn't matter much ..And during camp
is pretty much eat eat eat !
breakfast ,tea ,lunch ,dinner & supper .I mean wtfbbq?(i don't know what it means but sounds cool:D) ARGH crazy stuff.Ah playing in the lake filled with wastages like shit ,animal food ETC
WASN'T MUCH FUN BUT FRIGGIN DISGUSTING AND I HATED WHEN I TER-SWALLOW THE WATER..Thank god i was in the boat most of the time.
With blady sheldon that ASS is an idiot which makes him funny..That idiot only wnats to tumble the boat when we're on it .Punk ass fella .The water dah disgusting and polluted.
eeee .Shit disgusting and yet we ppl are so smart to still enter it ?

The camp really taught me alot and yesh i'll learn from it .
I needed something in my life to come by and yesh god blessed me with this camp.
I'm so thankful for it .
I'm just hoping to rebuild myself.My previous self did not satisfy me nor does the present.
Trying to change and not letting anyone get in the way .You get in the way ,you'll just pist me off.
I have a problem with who i am now and i'm gonna change it .If you can't help me in doing so
don't .Just stay out .I guess, i can do it by myself slowly.

I thank you Martin Jalleh ,God bless you abundantly.
You are gifted.See you soon .
Now playing:Clicking the restart button in life.

Small small footages will be on the next post ,enjoyy (:

Stop hating and start smiling.

Oblivious.

2009-09-10T01:37:00.000-07:00

I have an anger i can't control .It's time you open your eyes and start realizing .
Now lets see what the free butterfly does . .

DLSR ! / DSLR ! *

2009-09-05T04:22:00.001-07:00

Aaaaaaaaah photography would be what i wanna do later on !
I can't imagine the images i capture in my head in everyday life but sadly without a camera to
actually friggin capture it?
It's quite a sad thing !
And at times i'll use my phone to capture it .
My phone won't really get much if it's a distant picture though.
Which is sad.Like really.

I wouldn't mind one of those nikon dlsr/dslr .AND ONLY NIKON !
Aaaah.Currently in mind a D80 or D40 BUT D90 can shoot vid unlike d80 & 40.ARGH.And i also saw this new lumix camera,is in RED.g1 LUMIX if i'm not mistaken .It's not bad and all but you gotta get the flash seperate and i'm not sure if there's the extender.I forgot.PLS if you have a dlsr, gimme some info and if it isn't
too hard hand me the cam for a day would do :DI really needa check this shit out.

The cost of this bloody thing would be ?around 2.5k ?more or less.WAIT IT SHOULD BE AT 2.5K AND ABOVE.Wow i mean.Wtf.SADLY ,IT'S TOO MUCH A KID
CAN SAVE.LOL.
Just planning to work in that 2months break and hoping to get min 1.5k or some shit.
AHH how to earn money fast man ,teach PLEASE.
Ah it's friggin bullshit ..I MEAN IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET IT.I mean it's equivalent to a friggin laptop.HMMM, i think i should talk to uncle albert :Di think he knows alot.Or at least more than
me.OH MAN this sucks ,what should i do.MMM .

Drought's over.

2009-09-05T03:54:00.000-07:00

After years of waiting for the com to be fixed ..It crashed due to ''i don't know''
& NOW IT'S FIXED.
Ah that means .Wait wtf does it actually mean ?
NO IDEA.
Noww i can continue blogging .
HERE'S THE NEXT POST.

Menopause.

2009-08-19T04:13:00.000-07:00

Since my main com has crashed out of its retardedness due to god knows what .
I'm stuck with this useless piece of lag -A- Nation com.
It lags worse than a friggin windows 98 ffs.

So that means that i won't be updating.
Will be back.

My champion.

2009-07-29T04:34:00.000-07:00

27th July 09.
My lil champion made it to the netball inter-house finals .
Her team played very well, outplaying the opposition .
Gold it was .
`Gold medal for inkkie , the red-est face on the field.

Congrats pretty fatt thing <3

What saves me.

2009-07-20T04:09:00.000-07:00

I want my motor licenses already, please ?
Quit being paranoid .
So much for freedom.

It's all you idiots who don't know how to ride a bike that end up crashing and dying like some
fools that makes up a big influence towards me getting my motor license .
This sucks la really ! Blady public tp is annoying and slow.
Time's a wastage then.

Two sides to a story.

2009-07-13T04:27:00.000-07:00

Playing a game with no experience .

And i guess i'm a friggin playa .
Word up.

Awesome.

2009-07-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

All i wanted was a sorry.

..

2009-07-11T07:56:00.001-07:00

Nice, block me.

What i'm trying to find out.

2009-07-11T05:33:00.000-07:00

Hectic.

2009-07-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

Well well , finally after yearss of not vising hartamas we finally took a visit.
That kl side is where U.leslie and A.tracy's at .With emma-licious... Ah adorable.
I do observe now adays us family unite more often .. And thats a good thing .Don't wana be ulu-fied here.But i'll prefere pj anyday.The travels i did back and forth was wow.Awesomee.
Now school's an hour walk a wayy which is such bum..

Lunch time.
Yeah expensive. 8 bucks one drink ?

Interior.

Walked walked ,explore hartamas plaza or was it ?
lmao .Quite empty ,i like quiet malls .
But obviously if you don't have the shops jagan harap laa.

Left 3.30 ?for Bball which was supposed to be at school but ended up somewhere near it.
Started at 4 reach there 4.15 .
School was holding individual events.
Today was 3p .
30balls ,1min10sec .Various spots.
Managed to enter 1 ball ?Screwed up like shit .
Damn bad first impression .
But i did only start shooting 3p like not long ago ?Few weeks ?
I never thought i could do 3p ,i alwasy thought it was all gonna be luck .
But now's different.
But i gotta tell you ,this ppl look like they can't play bball for shit but they're
quite good .Impressive.

Subang people can ball ,and throw trash at you.

Finally.

2009-07-03T19:30:00.001-07:00

Now you know why i wanted a punching bag.

Gotta let it goo.

2009-07-02T03:31:00.000-07:00

I'm half the man i thought i would be ,
tell me it's all in my head.

`Back and forth ,going no where inparticular .Re-walking on the previous trail that seem
to fall deeper.

No privacy.

2009-06-30T03:21:00.000-07:00

I feel like closing this damn shit blog .
Or at least abandoning it.

Put mind at rest.

2009-06-20T09:18:00.000-07:00

GOODNIGHTS.

X sleep tight would ya.Sleep early

Do i break walls or hand.

2009-06-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait?
Every moment lasts forever
If you feel you’ve lost your way

What if your chances are already gone?
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
to fight and never walk away .

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for.

Call me out you stayed inside
One you love is where you hide
Shot me down as i flew by
Crash and burn i think sometimes
You forget where the heart is
Answer no to these questions
Let her go ,learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening
Now,can't you see somethings missing
You forget where the heart is.

Sittin’ all alone in your room
Thinkin’ that the world’s let you down
All you ever wanted to do is trust someone to always be around
You’ve had a lot of lessons to learn from
Some of them hit you so hard
And I keep believing someday you’ll see, you don’t have to be alone

Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan
karena cinta yang tlah hilang darimu yang mampu menyanjungku
Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak selama
itu pun aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

`The heart sees what is blind to the eye.

Time to let go.

2009-06-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

If you say i'm finding happiness from a girl ?just because i talk to em .
Then what the hell were u doing months ago ?and now in school.
Going for zack's party when i was in aussy .
Getting into another guy's car ?
Yea you're clearly the god damn angel .Really..
I can state a hundred fold of your wrongs but for what?
What do i get outt of it .

Posting my convo ?what u trying to prove .
Paste the whole damn thing .Seriously.
Then see who was wrong.
Cut here cut there ..
I want my privacy ,if not don't talk to me ever.
tas.
Take that convo off.

FFS

2009-06-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

Please roze shut up if you don't know anything please .
Obviously you hear her friggin complains everytime i do something wrong .
Do you even know her wrongs?
You don't even know la okay?
How long have you known inkkie ?
Tell mee .
If you do ,you should know her .
So don't worthless comments ..

Yeaa ,it's a stupid feeling to feel .
Even i'm getting that stupid feeling.

The biggest risk.

2009-06-13T07:43:00.000-07:00

She's the best damn thing ,and i meant it with every breathe i took. My only best friend became my girlfriend because i followed my emotions, risking our awesome friendship and noww it's just
friends.Was it even smart to risk a friendship that good?

Before she came baby .
The short msg's before we even had our first face2face convo ,was breathe taking .
An awesome person to talk to ,brightens the whole day and changes my mood quick.
No doubt everytime she sms-ed i made myself free ;doing nothing except hanging
by the handphone ..waiting.Texting till whenever ,it didn't matter .
The shortest of convo did brighten my day or change my mood.
When it got late after a long chit chat with her ,after our goodbye's /goodnights and all .
There would always be a huge smile before falling asleep.
How happy i became ,i'm telling you it made a difference.A BIG one.
Didn't really thought that me and her would had even end up together because everytime
there was a new guy .To even to have like her then would have just broken me down from time
to time.And if i did ,men will i suffer bad.To see my good friend ditch me for her ,did make me jealous. Ah just somethings i had to get over .To hear sue anne's NOISE going ''inkkie likes you'' ,did make me blush.And i thought it was exaggerated for her to like a guy not in her school.
To step into taman sea and see she was with another guy did intefere .
Making me think ,really differently.To get a warm welcome to taman sea ,didn't exist .
Like you didn't know me.Not a smile but a serious face everytime we passed.

I guess the number 13th really isn't a good number after all.

Don't go ,cause i won't feel right.
Stay because i need to know someone actually gives a damn.
Who would i tell when i reach home?
As if anyone bothered .
Because i trusted you when noone had that chance.
Was this risk a stupid one ?I really hope not.

And i'm sorry.

I know you have a millions of boys ;just waiting .
I have noone waiting not literally but because i'm really fussy (:
if that's a crime fine me.

Past.

2009-06-12T09:47:00.000-07:00

Diary of Leeinkkie .

It started slowly ; step by step ,piece by piece we came closer .Each year ,each msg & each outings. That brought us closer . That first kiss was the very first glimpse of heaven.

At first ,when we started off .
It didn't seem like i was your boyfriend ,honestly .It felt ..
Yea i was like useless ,powerlesss .Scared to even let out a word .
Guys kept coming ,i acted blind .
Ignoring .Just reminding myself she loves me not em .
Didn't seem like that right now .Seem like i was played.
I wouldn't say the you're the same as u were back then.
You evolved ,obviously.
Your much different compared to back then.
Maybe i think so ,because i'm in a different school ?
Thats why i don't see .
I can't see it .Won't know whats happening back there..
But it seem right now all turn the opposite .
Instead i see myself doing the wrongsss .Making the mistakes ?Not changing my language towards
her? Ahh she hasn't fully change for the best ,still dong the same old stupid moronic mistakes.
But i'm hoping that she will change for good and not for me ..
In the mean while i've to be doing the same ..
Perfecting the unproper moves.

I guess we have to take a break <3 So longg.. till thens.

Pain.

2009-06-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

Breaks you down.
Right deep down ,inside.
Thanks,
I'm getting lost. At least going away from u.tatas

Ice Skating.

2009-06-11T09:26:00.000-07:00

Ahhh !something i've missing long time .
I should ice skate more often .

Today morning woke up at around 9.30 .
My kan chiong mother la !
Always make us do stuff super early and all .It's like exaggerated.OVER DONE LA.
Ended up daddy came only after 1 .Babi !Damn kau long waited.
Ahh ,arrived at piramid .
Wendy's for lunch .Soo filling !uh .
Walked around since the friggin ice skating rink was LIKE FILLED WITH GAYS AND NERDS!
oh my nigga you should have seen the crowd .If u thought u saw the rink crowded ,today better
be the day .It was so packed.My dad said it was like independents day .(not sure if i spelled
that right )lmao.Anywayss .
Enter the ring around 4 + .Ah was a good timee .Wasn't as pack as the starting.
Ahh that smell when you're in the rink !AH !nice .hHAA
Ah oh yesh ,in the ring .
There was this fat malay kid ,WHO WAS SO CUTE OH MY NIGGA.
Seriously ,You look at him .U MIGHT FALL IN LOVE.I'M SO GAY RIGHT NOW.
I mean seriously cute !
Every girl would GO SO CUTE and some guys too HAHA.
I had to like skate with him .As in hold his hand /arm and skate .
Cause he coouldn't skate if there was 1million right in front of him .HE was so funny like really.
He would always ask me to go faster ,everytime i did .He ended up loosing balance and landing
straight onto the ground !ARghh. Ah his so fatt his face damn round .Eyes damn big .
Then every now and then i ditched him ,HAHA .Even with me holding him ,he can fall .
Ah !he was small .lmao.He had siblings /friends WHO DON'T GIVE SHIT MENZ.
Instead they rather see him fall and leave him be .AH evil ppl .
So at times me and ma brother will help him .
And when we ditched him ,he will beg !or when he see's us he goes BANG ABANG UHH !.
haha funny shit.OH MY SISTER FELL !THE ELDEST she so pro menz !
Fly upwards then drop on her ass ,ended up hurting her wrist. lmao. Ah i SAW.
Super pain.LMAO.I didn't really fall ,ithink.
Loosing ma footing was about it .Ahh so fun .
I got blisters .Thank god not that bad .So i continued skating..
Ah i'm planning to skate every month noww.

Out from sunway around 10ish .headed to the mamak outside for dinner .
Came back like 12 .Thats about it .

Oh yesh sounds like an all so wonderful day for me ?
Yea i thought so laa ,till ..
All these things are categorize as temporary happiness .hmmm .
So what's really happiness?
Try thinking.

This is stupid.

2009-06-09T08:09:00.000-07:00

Ever heard anyone going ''i hate you'' or telling you that she hates that person but still goes on talking talking and talking ,laughing ,touching ,hanging out & etc with that person?
I get this friggin often from girls mostly .Guys who hate just act don't know ,aint that right?

Well girls do this thing DAMN often i would say.
Telling you that she hates that guy or girl yet you may see pictures taken .
Having their contact number bla blaa blaa .
It such crap don't you think so ?

I get annoyed ,especially when it's a lie ..
Just wonder why the fack they would say such CRAP.

Here's a tip ,
if you so friggin hate that someone ,how about you like STAY AWAY FROM EM.
Don't be a bitch and act like you're into em .

Whathefish.

2009-06-08T04:50:00.001-07:00

Sudden feeling in me.
Suddenly feeling awkward or weird .
Feeling rather strange.
Haih wtheck ?!^#@$*
PMS ?!HAHA your mom la pms.

What a very boring day .
Today's the worst yet throughout the holidays..

Loser heroic.

2009-05-27T23:38:00.000-07:00

I hate this football club called
MANCHESTER UNITED .
They SUCK SO BAD.I'm telling you THEY SUCK.
If i were to support em WOULD ONLY BE IF I'M GETTING PAID.
Paid to support a loser club.AS U CAN SEE.
They LOST .It's what they do BEST.
Loosingg.
SO yeah today early in the morning they played against barcelona .AND IT WAS AN OBVIOUS
WIN EVEN THE BLIND COULD SEE THAT.
Okayy for you dumbasses OUT THERE !Who couldn't see who was going to lose.
The answer is MANCHESTER UNITED.They even got trashed against liverpool earlier this
season as YOU CAN SEE(dumbass).They got OWNT by barcelona .My goodnessss .
They can go BALIK AND EAT SHIT LA.

An advice to all manchester united supporters ..A VERY GOOD ADICE ,even the ministry of ADVICING approved of this.
STOP SUPPORTING MANCHESTER UNITED !

A day more to what you call ,a lil freedom.

2009-05-27T03:33:00.000-07:00

Oh yesh ,tomorrow's the last day of exam for 4-ians .
And i am looking forward for the holidays .
The thing about this school is THAT ,it's really irratating.
Schedule was purposely done which irritated everybody in a way taking the exam.
Let me give u a lil detail .
This are some of the things they did .
So there was this day that i only had to take one exam and which was moral .
This idiotic person who made the schedule practically made the paper right at the end
of the day .To what ?ruin our day ?!Like we've nothing else better to do.
This is one of the PISSING-FYING thing they did .
They did it to several more papers too .

Babiiiii ,well thank god tomorrow's last .It's math and i'm looking forward to it .
Though i'm not good in it AT ALL but i just like doing it .
My brains function sloww fyi .
Justin Leong Chee Mun would always critise my math .Argghh.
And everytime he teaches me and when i don't get it.
He GIVES ME THAT FACE !TOOT-ER fellaa.
His still niceee ,don't worry ladies.
I'm sure he has more patience with you girls.

Oh well now i don't have a math teacher .I mean like a friend whos helpes me in math.
The smartest guy in class SUCKS AT MATH .How awesome.
Though his accounts is like toot.Uh damn jealous.

I'm really looking forward for tomorroww !
Oh yesh ,

I MEANT EXAMS !

Fack.

2009-05-25T00:10:00.000-07:00

I officially hate mu.
i hate people who support mu cause technically their blind .
I hate faggots who don't put their names on the ffriggin cbox and talk to me rudely.
Do u have any current balls left?
Or did u masturbate it till it dried up ?
Dumb ass.

Exams are almost over .
Ending on thursday .

This current phone is retarded.
More to add ON will be ME
NOT
GETTING
MY
BIKE.

aRGGH i hope i die of skin cancer or something .
Parents not letting me take my license for motor.Damn retardo.
Guess i'll be walking under the blady sun the whole year .
Therefore i hope i get skin cancer and die.
It's so friggin tiring .
And now in order for me to get my ass to pj ,i have to take TWO busses.
friggin retarded la my life.seriously.
I can't even cycle to school la ,thats how retarded it is .
Not like i have a proper bike so yea .
Frustating max.

Heartless.

2009-05-22T20:57:00.001-07:00

How could you be so heartless .
The coldest story ever told.
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul
To a woman so heartless.

How you be so cold
As the winter wind when it breeze yo
Just remember that you talkin to me yo
You need to watch the way you talkin to me yo
I mean after all the things that we been thru
I mean after all the things we got into
Ayo I know it's some thangs that you ain't told me
Ayo I did some things but that's the old me
And now you wanna get me back and you gon show me
So you walkin round like you don't know me
You gotta a new friend, well I got homies
But in the end it's still so lonely

How could you be so doctor evil
You bringin out a side of me that I don't know
I decided we wasn't gon speak so
Why we up 3 AM on the phone
Why do she be so mad at me fo
Homie I don't know
Shes hot and cold
I won't stop won't mess my groove up
Cause I already know how this thang go
Ya wanna tell ya friends that ya leavin me
They say that they don't see what ya see in me
You wait a couple months then you gon see
You'll never find nobody better than me

Talk and Talk and Talk and Talk
Baby let's just knock it off
They don't know what we been thru
They don't know bout me and you
So I got somethin new to see
And you just gon keep hatin me
And we just gon be enemies
I know you can't believe
I could just leave it wrong
And you can't make it right
I'm gon take off tonight into the night.

It should stop ,but when ?
I'm waiting lil girl .

Ungrateful piece of shit.

2009-05-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

All i ever got was SHIT from you .
Went aussy had a nice time ,came back things u DID .
Only a friggin retard would do ..
Ruin my blady holiday .

NOW BEST RUIN MY DAY !
Stupid retardo day .

I wish i got hit by a car and ended up in a coma .
I don't wana be dead yet .

Just to see if u cared shit la.

Go your form 5 kaki .
They all got your back yo !

Nigga my ass.

Struggles .

2009-05-13T23:38:00.000-07:00

Nothing seem to stand anymore ;
The people you needed , just aint there .
The one you cared most ,doesn't bother anymore.

I should just listen to my parents,by the looks right now .
Like a girl would be there always right?Do you even bother what's running in my mind?
Prolly sooner or later you'd be on your own .
I should just start to let you go or so ..
Can't take this shit no more .

Now playing: I Surrender

Since i don't talk to you nice enough for now ,time takes over .
You're the angel right ?
Who gave me every damn thing ?
Kononnya.
From the start ,the very beginning .
I should have just hid this feelings.

The phone i wanted ,i really now don't care shit about it .
The phone i'm currently using is jack-ed up .
Moreover ,exam is just tomorrow .
Stress will be added up ..

I can live with what i have .
Wantings are not needed ,doesn't satisfy me for the moment .

Deciding.

2009-05-09T02:42:00.000-07:00

As i was surveying many phoness excluding nokia's !HAHA .only sony ericsson's as the nokia5310
express music was a big failure to me .Arggh ,i really wanted that but oh wtvs right now .
I discussed with baby(: about phones and all .That cheeky thing kept gaving me phones that
are not even out yet YET cool looking !Rather nicee i would say ,designss were epic.Really nice.
BUT UNFORTUNATELY I'M SURE IT WOULD COST A BOMB ADDITIONAL TO THE TIME DELAYING
to get a new phone.Hahaa .. The only type of sony ericsson's i would get, is the walkman phone ,as their
speaker phoness .And i like my music. Speaker over camera ,anyday.

These were the phoness models that was on me and baby's(: mind
W715 ,w760 ,w395 and a few others which i eliminated..
Baby says the 715 is nice and all ,i say it would cost alot as i'm trying to get the phone soon
not months later or so . I did like the 715 but then again yea..

I'm currently favouring the w760 over the rest ,as for alot of purposes .
The price is reasonable based on features.

Cravings .

2009-05-08T04:35:00.000-07:00

I'm currently craving for thiss friggin phone,it's so friggin nicee .Babi i want it ..Trying to get this phone for about 6?The market pricing is about 750 more or less .God help me !
Yea ,and moreeover ,i have not much cash ! Awesome..
Oh yesh and my license and motorbike .Arggh i want at least a 100cc bike ..

My savings does not really last nowadays :\

Oh help me lord for my wants ;)

Day later.
as i wanted that phonee ,the urge to get it drifted due to researches .I can't deny the outside
looks friggin delicous and all ,but the inside wasn't so.When i first saw the functions ,it was all impressive.The camera isn't that good and the so called ''speaker phone''Which isn't that loud and clear .I guess i should get a sony then .I think the speaker of a walkman phone
can beat this .
arggh !Dilemmas ,i don't want to put my money to waste as i did already two phones.
That was pure bullshit !

AND AND AND !

2009-05-05T03:37:00.000-07:00

You'll be having an affair with me :D
Oh i so pity your boyfriend ;D
Who ,i will prolly bruise later on.

And and in the end ; i get baby back ;)
<3

To baby ;)

2009-05-05T03:23:00.001-07:00

OH baby ;)
If u ever have another ;
You know i'll still kiss you(:

if the reason it ended was reasonable.

Unpleasant suprise .

2009-05-03T04:08:00.000-07:00

23rd April 2009 ;0

Okay ,now guess what's SO special about that date right there?
Okay i'll go to the main point ; you suck.
It's my birthday .Alright,this day was quite special ,
comparing last year.
It was only special because baby(:
came over to spend the day with me .
Which meant everything ,
considering my family wasn't gona celebrate on that day.
They pushed to the weekend which till now didn't celebrate ,
i'll tell u why later on.
So yeshh if she didn't come over ,the day would be awfully sad.
And yesh it would have been as bad
as ze last year because everyone of my siblings
had went out family-E or had dinner but me .
I still can't believe it though.Nvm,I'm so wtv over that
.And that day my grandfather was already admited in hospital
due to failure with the heart,which i'm guessing was a day ago.
It stopped for 20mins or less ,
i'm not quite sure.
After baby left ,not long after i headed on to the hospital .

Thank you lots baby (; <3>

'Unpleasant suprise.

Friday was as equally normal as ze rest
,excluding that papa was still in the hospital
Came back from school knowing i was gonna head on to the hospital.
So yeshh ,got home ;got ready .
Waited awhile and took off there.
Arrived around 4?
Waited and waited .Talked ,ipod,texted & bought food.
Went to the church next door ,which was assunta .
Prayed for papa and so on.
Fought with my princess and a super wrong time.
My mood was so gay-ed on that day.

After church i entered back, papa was admitted in ccu.
So i waited outside with family members.
The anxious thoughts flow deep ;especially in mama.
All of a sudden ,papa was chocked off his saliva .ithink.
So he stopped breathing .
Doctor went back in. Came out 5mins later with success .
Not long after ,while our relieve who we taught was RELIEVED,
came to an end with a second atttack ,
causing the heart to stop pumping.
Doctor came out ,to inform .

He said yall should see this .
Before i could say oh ,emotions ran deep .
Right down under.
In everyone of a us .Or yet; most.There wasn't a pulse nor heartbeat.

24th April 09.departed.

To dear papa ,
Since your already up above ,negotiate a place for me with god.

`Gold medal for papa` , for all his done for us .
the saying he always used.

How do you sleep..

2009-04-20T01:50:00.000-07:00

This ain't no sweet memories.

Look, now it’s been about a year,
And im trying to figure out how could ya?
Forget about who loves you most why would ya?
Heal my heart, heal my brain,
Oh how I wish you could feel my pain,
Cause I couldnt get you off my mind if I tried,
24-7 (3-6-5) and my nights so cold,
Days so long, they say you don’t know what you got Till’ its gone,
well it’s gone and im trippin how much I Miss it and you steady walkin round like I never exsited, And its hard to understand,
you got another plan,
Trying to play hard and you got another man,
But you’ll never find another like muah,
that had you riding ’round in a drop top car,
Baby you a star and its time that you know it,
So much love and its time that we show it.

Us <3 aAyli

Because i don't know what you feel.

2009-04-19T02:52:00.000-07:00

She's good without me ;is what she said.
By the looks of it ,i couldn't agree less .
''Good friends are my thing''right you are.
She's happy, even without me .

Don't really know what i mean to you anymore .
-You left me cluelessly.

Because those words are the words we would only be able to hear once in a lifetime.
Those words where as like ;the person your married to will only used such words .Or maybe,
your fiance .

So.. can you imagine ?
What if the words were cheapen by actions.
Will you trust another's word ?

I mean, it be hard right ?really hard for you to trust another one's word.
If you went true all this;the next time someone says it to you, you will most likely think of the same thing
re-happening.
Thinking more than two times of whether its true.

Right now.i can't take anyone's word.
Most likely, forever.Fine ,for a very long period of time.
I mean ,if there's a chance given for you to prove me wrong.
You better have proven me wrong.

This what ,i recently became..
Might change ;depending.
Because i've tried and now
i'm exhausted.

Flashbacks*

`Time doesn't tell time only but the future that matters in seconds.

Now playing

2009-04-08T05:08:00.000-07:00

You're so beautiful .

They hang as they hang.

2009-04-08T03:36:00.000-07:00

Thats how you do it .
You never think it out .

If the gun had bullets equals suicide.

2009-04-05T18:03:00.000-07:00

I have a motherfriggin problem and
i think i'm on the very edge on
suiciding .seriously.

I can't take it no more .
Had it .

Erm .

2009-04-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

I think i have problems.

I need a friggin therapist .

Australia's post is later on aite .
When i have the time.

No Pain

2009-04-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

No suffering ,why complain .
You went places; hang out with friends .Went to piramid(Never go there ever again without me)?You could always go out
with them but me .Friggin awesome feeling .

I hate myself ,seriously.
Didn't seem like you were dying .

Seem like you had fun and was better off without me ;that was what i think.
The days you go out with me and got home to blog .

Compare the smiles ;I'm never first .
Never tasted to be that winner.

Don't seem like i'm worth your friggin time.Seriously.

Everything written is what i think okay ?

Guess

2009-03-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

what people .tomorrow i'll be travelling to aussy ,departing around 9-10 .
Not sure .
We'll be leaving the house at 7 or less so that means get up at 6 or EARLIER
knowing mommy .Won't be here till next next week ,tuesday .
Mmm thousand words to be written ,i just can't think at the moment .

Thousand car's sped off ,how much did you caught hold off?

Exactly ,something like that.Similar.

Mmm ,didn't even get to see baby .
Haih or is inkkie ,i'm not quite sure anymore .

The present i made :|
Mmm,wanna seee inside inside ?
Couldn't see you before i left soo..
I guess after aussy or something .

I gotta go baby .
Mmmm take care of yourself okayys .
Like the Lee Inkkie i brought up .
Thats Inkkie .

aAyli ♥ Tatas take care's ,have fun .
What's left in me.

Loving a ghost etc.

2009-03-25T23:56:00.000-07:00

Loving someone ;who changed ,treats you
differently ,don't text message you like
she used to ,is not thankful that she has
you .
and more . You get ma point.

It's like loving a ghost .Loving that person .Whom now you miss so much.
That person changed .I'm not sure whats the problem .
Is just so much different now ,i can barely take.
She treats me differently .
Her friends obviously gets the real her .
So fuckingmother unfair .As always.
They get the smiles when they fucking do nothing.
I have to work for em ,okays ?
Tell me how fair it is la ,now i'm done for.
I'm fed up .I'm ready to move on .

I give up .
You bring the faith in me .
I'm done .

She said
''I don't wanna friggin talk to you''
So i'm done talking to you .
Done bothering .
Done caring .

2 More days to Aussy and when
i had the time to see you .
You rejected .Not suprise laa .
Screw it .
I'm fed up.
Told me she was busy ,couldn't
stay back for me & and had ''bk''
which she didn't go .Excuses .

I think we're nearly done ; There ,you have your damn freedom.
Because i've tried and i don't see u satisfied nor smiling at it.
I give up.

Let me just say

2009-03-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

Yesh happy birthday UNCLE junior.
This UNCLE right here is ma dad's brother.
The eldest son .

Yesh indeed .
Groovy 50 it is austin .
He just turn 50 and so far fortunately still healthy
Has 4 children .

ONE OF EM
is still young and in SCHOOL AHHA .
His marc .

Pilot he is .
Don't you wonder how it feels to fly a plane ?
How much pressure you'll have and all. KNOWING, you have
alot alot of life's on the line .Haha .
His eldest son matthew wants to be just like him ,if i've not mistaken.

Thats his wife !
Whose also my godmother ..
Don't ask me how old is she !No idea ..

My grandmother's sister's daughter .
Sooo ,she's cousins with ma mommy.

Oh, his singing .The place was
in Seremban .

Then the cake .

HAHA ?! hee :D?Why cannot. I asked baby permission:D

Tony and her friend ?ahah. My damn chun shot .

That's albert !Boyfriend to Joanne .
Junior's daughter ,my cousin.

Help for fuck sakes

2009-03-25T04:18:00.001-07:00

WOI SOMEONE HELP ME with ma fucking fonts . Getting outta hand .
Everytime i post something the font suddenly goes all small .
TOOT !MOTHERFUCKER.MOTHERFUCKA.

bullshit !@#$^#^@&*&^#

2009-03-25T01:54:00.000-07:00

Guess what :D
HAHA.
Today we had our math test !
HAHA i was pretty relax about it x;

Okayys.
the day started off like this ..
Early morning where red eyes are often seen ,i was awake !
Later than the usual since ma brother and sister didn't go school SOO !

i got like a lil more sleep .

barely a difference !

Soo yeah mommy took me .
As usual her her kan chiong -ness ! Always asking to hurry hurry up .
I cannot stand. Nigga!
Left at 7

Reached, like almost 7.30 menz .The jam oh jam .
Crazy stuff -

Today we had
Test ,test and TEST !
Science ,english and MATHS !

Science was okay considering this year ; My science is shitty plus i didin't revise due to myself
haha,i actually worried a lil more over science and english !
English i was afraid of the novel parts .Where ma teacher is seriously fucking useless.
She's WEIRD ,i find her.Really really weird .AND USELESS !#%!&@#$!*
The WORST teacher u can ever have for english .
She seems like the typical good english teacher BUT SHE SUCKS .

God have mercy on her soul AND OUR EARS .

So yeah u get ma point .Science the teacher is okay BUT . Good but easily stepped on .
means no control -

of the class ZZ .

So yeah ,maths teacher was ALSO useless .And yesh USELESS.
Nigga my teachers suck .LOL

I didn't worry about maths ..Quite excited actually.
Since it was only the first 3 chapters .
I didn't worry .

THEN
deng deng DENGGGGGGGGG.
OH YESH ;maths i took the paper and I DIED !

Fuckingmother hard .I've never seen the questions this year .
Never done em .and so YEAH
unless it was last years teaching THAT I'M SURE i forgot .HAHA .
So YEAH .
fuckedddd .
At least half the paper AND MORE .
was GAY-ed up .
And so YEAH for saying i won't fail EVERR again !
I LIED !
bullshit .

SO YESH ;I'm failing that !MOTHERFUCKER of all papers.

Soo as school ended , I wasn't happy .
Got la stuff -
Just don't wana state it out .

I'll keep it in .

Wanted to play basketball but it had to rain.
I'm still the same ,had to be last night.

A not so awesome day.

2009-03-23T04:59:00.000-07:00

Because today had EXAMS ;today was a retarded max day .
Wait i meant TEST ! HAHA opps.
Hahaa the test i didn't wana do on the friggin first day was bm ..
WHICH WAS TODAY MOTHER &#!$^&#@!
Tell me it was awesome !Ass.

I didn't study for rumusan so therefore i wasn't assure of ma rumusan part .Lucky enough to prolly
get 18 and above?HAHA LMAO.I'm still wishing .
HAHA .Well ,test are until wednesday .Short isn't it ?Cramp every damn test like shit .
Well i don't mind ,i prefere doing test then teaching blaberring x; WHICH i do pay attention :D
Weirdly x;

Tomorrow there's test test test .
Accounts , history & perdagagan .

Well i'm so not ready for accounts.Cause cleary teacher talks to soft!ARGHH.
But i'm interested in learning (:
Does that count ?!

Cause this is never happening ever (:

1 Year <3

2009-03-22T07:21:00.000-07:00

OH yesh (:
1Year it was with ma perfecto ; Lee inkkie ♥ Also ma brother's birthday.oppss.lol
And yesh it feels like forever but whose to blame .

I'm not done with you.

Obviously we went out .Hit the movies,walked till she drops .Wait not drop.COMPLAIN!HAHA
We went off to cineleisure .I kinda like it there because the fact it has friggin 3-5 malls joined or at
least walking distance.Instead of staying in one blady boring mall .YEAH u feel me .I love walking.
Well, now u know .

We decided cineleisure because they had like that ,cheering thing .Competition. And brenda was
performing .THAT was the reason .Ended up we didn't even get to see .Friggin crowded!
Couldn't get a place to stop and stare .
So then we decided to book a moviee .Erm what was it called.
What mountain .
The race to witch mountain ?The title was ,well for me was kinda sesat .The show was an average
entertaining show .I hate heading to the movies if it doesn't pass ma standard average entertaining show. Serious pissingg off .Oh ,we picked that movie because marley & me was at like 6.30 ?
Wasn't staying till that latee .Sadly had school the next day .Real unfortunate.

After the movie ..
The two was silently walking .
Because of that something .
Which you won't know .
Yeah ,till the time came .Ma baby started talking .Seriously if she doesn't talk and silent herself. I can't get things moving :\ sadly.When she's sad its real hard for me to motivate her and all .

Most times i fail .

I saw kamal .Ma old school mate.
But didn't shit recognize him .LOL .His hair was unsually long instead of the skin head .
And he grew !HAHA

After then things started moving .A big relief in ma heart .Damn satisfying .
And yesh at then ,words just couldn't stop blabbering out .
Haha i love (:

Then i took ma baby for dinner .
Or was it dinner ?!LMAO .
I'm not sure what to count it as .HAHA .Oh wells .
Finally let ma baby try that cake i wanted her to :\ not sure if she remembered .
Daim cake.

Headed on home with smiles .
And thankfully safe.

Thank you lord .
Bless.

Left a post out .Actually many of em .
-Uncles birthday .I'll post tomorrow .It happened yesterday.

Let your desire be fulfill .

2009-03-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

Your FREEEDOM you wanted .
All you ever wanted.

Because

2009-03-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted after a reallly long period of time !
Everything was just sooo happyFYING !
so so
i coulnd't think straight x; L M A O

As dayss are passing ,the trip to aussy is rather near ! 1week from now.

WOO ,can't wait .Though i won't be able to speak to ma baby like the usual, after
school texting .Or the phone calls which at the end of the month i get screwing for.
I try to at least visit her once a week and sooner or later get lectured for.
The once in that week will normally be on fridayss.Other days would be rather time
cramp .And i try em on sundays after church .Thats LIKE really really short time spending .Arghh it be like an hour or 2 if i'm lucky but i don't really mind .

So So tomorrow's our 1 year anniversary ! nothing big i would say ,1YEAR ONLY MAR !Not two also (:
now mood's fucked.
End of story

D:

2009-03-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

HAHA !hellooo !:D
ohhh i'm so motherfucking happy :D

haha so :DTomorrow i shall post up !
I'M HAPPY MAIN POINT ;D

Wait waittt ,updates shall be posted soon .

So yesterday .

2009-03-17T04:13:00.000-07:00

SO yesterdayyy, wasss annn awesomee day :D.

Got to see her after quite a long run .
So satisfaction wass quite high ,just through the end it fell.

The day started when i was awaken from my awesome SLEEP.
Left with mommy to pj ,ma home :D?
HAHA ,went to aunty's to settle till around 10.30 where i took off to szen's.
Baby asked if i could sleep when i reached BUT i get insomnia one day before
i see ma baby x;
Thank god only one day before ,i don't mind much.
I've been having this ever since we got close.

Getting up ,couples of hours earlier and staying up .
Trying to keep ma cool x;
Joking, i don't get nervous or anything .I'm fine.

At the end after hours or minutes lying down on the couch ,''TRYING TO SLEEP''
she texted :D
and asked a silly question !Whether i was sleeping.haha.I laughed.

After hours of texting ,i was about to leave the house .
HHAA AND GUESS WHAT.

We left ,with a slight differences in time.
and REACHED pratically friggin same !LOL
We almost clashed.
Thankfully i asked ma godfather to drop me off at some lorong,which later on
worried him and his wife .HAHA.Then walked on to szen's.
Reached (:

and then WAIT i was the last to reach THEN.
Baby greeted me and littlest.

Then aunty sent us off to 1u .
Haha aunty's nice.She drops us like everytime there's an outing.
THOUGH I THINK i forgot to say thank you after she dropped us.
I FEEL damn bad.lmao.
To 1U!
jalan-jalan till everyone arrived.Then we gathered up at toys R us.
Then offed to Shogun.
OR WAS IT SOGUN LOL. I'll go with Shogun .
It was like jap buffet .I don't really eat jap , DON'T LAUGH.
First time eating jap buffet. The only jap food i ever ate was.
Teriyaki in erm .Subway.lol.

Baby paid for me :D
Eat eat eat .As usual, they commented on other peoples dressing.
I MEAN THE GIRLS.
HAHA.

After eating japanese with a not so japanese face ,not so japanese dressing.
Most importantly; with a not so japanese slang/tongue.

After that we were off to the theaters.
To book tickets.

Marley & me it was .
Emotional show it seems !
haha i wouldn't know !YOU'LL KNOW LATER :D

HAHA fucking.
WAIT,i mean later.

Okay after that.We took off .
to I FORGOT.I have amnesia now .
HAA ithink.lmao.
Now this is a normal thing.Unlike the insomnia .

All i know is !this.
Screen would be only rolling at 4.30 .
So before that not long before 4.30.
Took off to the arcades .Where i saw gays HAHA .
Funny people.
Well not so .

HAHA ,well entrance to out theater were open so headed on there .
HAHA NOW
screen starting rolling and then .
Well i'm LAZY :D
If u weren't there it shall be a mistery :DHAHA.

LAZY WRITE LA !
I was used to being so fucking deep writting this blog.
NOW ITS HAPPY -FILLED.
haha .
gimme time :D

..

2009-03-11T06:16:00.001-07:00

It's all gona be drafted from now on .
sooner or later the post shall be publish .
depends .
-contemplating

I feel dead .
For now goodbye.

I'm done

2009-03-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

Paroxysm .

2009-03-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

Now playing:
Rascal Flatts - He aint the leaving kind

Stop rafael .
stop .
Keep it in ,whatever it is .
For the time being at least.

Paranoid is what i am ,of course only with her .
The rest ,i wouldn't give shits .If i did , just your luck .

I tend to get paranoid ,over pratically everything that she does .
I mean wtfack is wrong with me ?
Don't you think its assholic of me ?

I am a lil of ma mommyy ,well frankly
SHE'S WORSE.
anyways.

Everything that she does ,you can count on me to get worrying.
I mean the fack wei ?
Even seriously.I can't tahan myself .
i'm losing it MENZ.

I'm paranoidly in love ,what should i do ?
Take a chill pill?
like em cigarettes?
alcohol ?
your drugs ?
I'm just playing with you asshole!

Currently ,trying .
My best

`Jealousy fucks with the mind and its let out by your self actions.

What if .

2009-03-08T18:15:00.000-07:00

Never wanted something more that that.
Never knew i could put that amount of effort in. Never knew ,trying ,giving the best outta me didn't
work .Tell me i won't reach disappointment.
Guess i'm just so damn worthless .
i give up.

on myself.
on life.
on love.

Never wanted to let anyone in , trusting u ;giving my worthless heart .
And now.
Just another picture in your gallery .

Worthless memory.

More to express,just so damn dead right now.
I'll just keep it in .

I'll write when i feel like it .

I've never wanted anything that much and actually bothered to work for it.
You can't solo a relationship ;in reality it doesn't work that way.

`You can't find the perfect lover ,but create the perfect love .

for now ,i need the lords strength.
to at least motivate me from giving up

Wanting to be the guy of your dreams ; just didn't reach him .
I swear ,i saw marriage .

bye.

And to whoever views this blog ,write somethin in the cbox.
don't view and run.
If your a random i won't care ,just do it .

_|_

2009-03-08T04:26:00.000-07:00

u know what?fuck this relationship .
i've tried more than any mother fucker would have.
putten more effort than ur ass would ?
so fuck this bye .
leave for god sake.
before i kill myself.